These five films are rubbish…Blade Runner…
Everyone says these films are great, but not us we have the cajones to tell the truth! These films are rubbish.
We tried, we really tried. We really, really wanted to love this film, and at the very least like it. The cool dystopian LA sci-fi future, Harrison Ford, replicants….but as with anything by Ridley Scott, other than Alien, the film just wallows in its own sense of self-indulgent smugness….and it drags….and drags….and drags….until not even the lure of flying cars can entice as to keep our eyes open anymore. Give us Arnold’s Total Recall any day.
Lord of the Rings
Okay some of the special effects are pretty decent, but the story is boring. Every time we came round in the cinema and looked up at the screen, all we saw was an assortment of men running across a hill. Every. Single. Scene. We get it they’re going somewhere, via a hill.
Another crime LOTR commits is that you can never hear what Gandalf is saying, he mumbles every single line. We might have really liked LOTR if only we could hear what one of the most important characters was saying. And they stopped running across hills all day.
Any film by M. Night Shyamalan (except for The Sixth Sense)
Look the first time M. Night Shyamalan did the twist at the end of his movie with the “I see dead people”, it was pretty good, we didn’t see it coming, but then he repeated it literally for every single one of his increasingly boring movies.
The forest is next to a city and they didn’t know about it, they couldn’t hear the freeway? They weren’t intrigued about life outside of the forest? Actually we haven’t even seen The Forest because we refuse to watch any films by Shyamalan after watching Signs. An alien invasion movie where the aliens get beaten up with sticks. STICKS! But not in a comedy way, in a genuine supposed to induce drama way. Shyamalan makes the worst movies ever, luckily more and more people have cottoned on to this but we still like to bring it to the public’s attention whenever we can.
That’s right, we said it. We’ll say it again. Scarface. People have been coerced into saying that this is a great movie despite the fact that it’s too long, implausible and looks like a B-movie. Scarface is beloved by rappers everywhere though, as evidenced by their DVD collections on Cribs. Whilst the director’s cut sucks, the TV-edit of the movie however is a thing of beauty “this town is like a great big chicken…waiting to be plucked” – truly the greatest line in all movie history.
Seems to us, if you want your movie to be big you need three things: 1) a cool location, 2) a lead character who is an insane anti-hero and 3) a cool catchphrase. Hence the success of both Scarface and Taxi Driver respectively.
Movie buffs love Taxi Driver for it’s cinematography and location shooting but in all honesty it’s boring, and is about an insane do-gooder who no one likes. Every time we watch it we get an image of one of those religious dudes who knock on your door promising to “show you the light” looking in a mirror saying “You talking to me?”. Save yourself the time watching the whole movie and just watch the ‘You talking to me?’ scene and you’ll have seen it all.
Agree, disagree, hate us and want to hunt us down to the ends of the earth to get your revenge for daring to say your favourite film is rubbish, let us know below!
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