Synthol freaks – the worst cases
As body building has evolved and become more competitive, bodybuilders exploit anything that will give them an edge in achieving larger, better defined muscles. Diet supplements, anabolic steroids and growth hormone are all gobbled up in an effort to make their bodies look like Arnie. But in recent years some have used synthol – a blend of oils injected directly into the muscle to swell it – and end up looking like He-Man doll that’s been in a fire. These are the synthol freaks.
The techniques used by professional body builders filter down to everyday gymgoers, many of whom are lazy, lacking in common sense and are desperate for shortcuts to get a big, defined, muscular body. But used improperly (or even used properly!) synthol can leave muscles looking like bizarre droopy sacks of water and cause life threatening infections. Here are some of the worst examples of synthol abuse:
Some of the increase in muscle size caused by injecting synthol into muscles comes from the volume of oil used, and some of the increase comes from muscle inflammation due to alcohol. This is not healthy!
Normal muscle flexes, but synthol just adds dead bulk, so muscles injected with synthol tend to droop like bags of water.
Steroids cause hormonal changes that encourage muscle to heal and grow faster. So someone on steroids will build actual muscle. Synthol does nothing to increase muscle strength, it’s just a liquid filler.
This guy is also showing signs of gynaecomastia, a side effect of using steroids, where the excess testosterone is converted to female hormones and…long story short, you grow droopy pointy bitch tits like this guy here.
I swear that some of these people are eating the synthol instead of injecting it.
This guy can’t even afford proper weights, he’s just lifting a broomhandle with some hubcaps on it. It probably weighs about 12 kilos. These are the sort of pricks who use synthol.
As synthol expands and bloats the muscle, it ends up looking like ridiculous Baywatch style silicone breast implants.
Professional body builders will typically use synthol sparingly to achieve symmetry or to fill in underdeveloped muscles. But some people don’t know when to stop.
Look at this fanny trying to pull a truck:
When Synthol goes wrong
As you can imagine, injecting a cocktail of oils and alcohol into your muscles isn’t without its risks. Synthol abuse can cause pulmonary embolisms, nerve damage, infections, stroke, and the formation of oil-filled granulomas, cysts or ulcers in the muscle.
Sesame oil is often used, which can cause allergic reactions such as vasculitis.
The alcohol causes inflammation in the muscle, which gives many synthol muscles their tell tale red raw look
Synthol users are at risk of infection from dirty needles and contaminated oil, and the synthol sitting in the muscle can affect circulation leading to infection and even gangrene.
Abcesses can develop, and they look fucking RANK
When the muscles get infected, they can swell further and explode. It’s not pleasant.
Gregg Valentino – formerly owner of the biggest arms in the world due to injecting them with synthol – was the subject of a TV documentary when his arms became infected and exploded.
Even when it goes right, synthol looks pretty weird and disgusting.
Gregg Valentino had the biggest biceps in the world but was disliked in the body building community due to his love of taking loads of steroids and injecting his muscles with synthol. He looked like a hard boiled mental cunt.
Literally like someone inflated a sunburnt yokel with a 10,400psi hydraulic hose.
But Gregg’s arms got infected from a dirty needle and exploded, ripping the roof off a Sainsburys and killing three nearby women.
Bodybuilder Romario Dos Santos Alves modeled himself on the Incredible Hulk, injecting synthol to get his incredible physique.
But he suffered health problems as the synthol hardened in his body. He came close to having his arms amputated and tried to commit suicide.
Women have also injected synthol to sculpt their bodies – but can suffer the same problems. This woman injected synthol into her buttocks for a Kardashian type arse – but has ended up looking rank, with big wads of hospital grade cotton wool jammed into her open sores:
Male body norms have changed over the decades. Maybe that’s what’s driving men to inject themselves with oil. In the 60s, Sean Connery was an action star. Today his body would be considered laughably weak and wispy.
But remember guys – if you want a killer body, you won’t get it injecting synthol. You need a genetic makeup predisposed to lean muscle gain, lots of protein, lots of sleep and hours in the gym each day lifting so hard it hurts. And, like Arnie, you’ll need lashings of anabolic steroids.
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