The 5 worst 90s music videos ever
When MTV actually played videos, these were the five worst.
Pearl Jam – Jeremy
Good band. Good song. Good looking front man looks like a mentalist with constipation. Perhaps wary of falling into the trappings of hot lead singer syndrome, Eddie Vedder seems hell-bent on convincing us that he’s lost his marbles. But if demented mugging is anything to go by, the marbles are more like beach balls, so we better take these guys seriously ok?? Not sure what’s up with Jeremy, but Eddie’s a picnic short of a sandwich.
Vanilla – No Way No Way
If the Spice Girls were the Manchester United of girl power, then Vanilla were the movement’s Longford F.C. ‘No way, no way’ the flirtatious foursome tell the lads. ‘Not today’, they continue. Hmm, so tomorrow then? The ladies perform poolside, ignored by the other Butlins holiday makers. The pool is behind them, yet its Godlike reflection appears to be bouncing off their faces. Two of them look as if they’re going blind. It’s hard to balance sexy with squinting.
Judge for yourself…
East 17 – House Of Love
The band: East 17. The location: Walthamstow Stadium. ‘Everybody in the House On Albert Square!’ they cry in hats from Alice In Wonderland. You can almost smell the food poisoning coming from the pie truck nearby. A cartoon dog shows his arse to camera. One of the boys shows his arse to some girls with a ‘come hither’ jiggle. Best worst brilliance.
Alanis Morissette – Thank U
‘How about getting off these antibiotics?’ sings Alanis Morissette. ‘How about putting some clothes on, lady?’ says everyone else. Life is hard enough without us having to pretend there isn’t a naked pop star sitting next to us on the train. Alanis goes on to see sparkly apparitions in aisle 3 of Ralph’s supermarket. Well unless she’s got a wallet up her arse she’s about to be escorted from the premises.
Gerardo – Rico Suave
Is it Rico Suave by Gerardo or Gerardo by Rico Sua… oh, who cares when it’s this funky! Hot chicks? Check. Steel toe caps? Check. Multiple bandana changes? You betcha. Even the gormless mariachis are having fun! And as if that wasn’t steamy enough, Gerardo/Rico ups the charm stakes by shoving a worried looking mother towards the kitchen with ‘Go serve the food, moms’. Suave.