Man shocks office colleagues by mentioning hot weather
Norman Cheddar shocked his office co-workers earlier by saying “it is hot today isn’t it?” Laura Senior, an Administrative Account Assistant, tells us, “It had the office in a right tizzy! We all answered ‘yes it is, isn’t it’ because what can you say to something outlandish like that? But then we realised yes, the temperature was higher than normal.”
“Thank God he mentioned it. I’d had an uneasy feeling on the way in to work that morning that something was different. People seemed to be sweating more than usual and unrefrigerated meat was perishing more quickly than I was used to.” Laura continues, “But it wasn’t until he said that it is hot that I realised, yes! It is hot! Probably because of summer and that.”
With the office abuzz at his remarkable revelation about the elevated temperature, Norman capitalised on the viral success of his first statement by elaborating on it while waiting for a lift at lunchtime. Mary Cheeks, an Executive Development Coordinator, tells us, “I was standing next to him, fanning my face with a leaflet and blowing my cheeks out. He said ‘it’s very muggy isn’t it.’ I was completely taken aback! I didn’t know what to say so I chuckled and said ‘yes, very’. I thought that was the end of it.”
“What he said next will stay with me forever,” Mary pauses for breath, her eyes frantically searching for reason, “He said ‘I suppose it’ll be back to raining tomorrow'” At this point Mary dug her fingernails into my arm, drawing blood, “I suppose it’ll be back to raining tomorrow!!” Mary’s eyes glowed red and a forked tongue flicked over her lips as she channeled the voice of weathergirl Sian Lloyd incanting meteorological forecasts, so we made our excuses and left.
But she chased us to our car, “We haven’t had a shock like this since Susan and Jenny were standing by the photocopier and Susan asked Jenny how her weekend was, and Jenny replied ‘Not long enough!'” said Mary “That was some mad shit right there I tell you! And another time Jenny asked Susan if she’d like a cup of tea and Susan said ‘well I’d rather have a glass of wine!’ That was completely fucking mental,” Mary opines, “I tell you what, you don’t have to be mad to work here – but it helps! IT FUCKING HELPS!!!”
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