If countries did internet dating – Russia
Basically Russia’s Tinder profile. Yolo!
HOME: Central Europe but keen to extend the property.
APPEARANCE: Very, very manly
YOU ARE: Strong, womanly.
ABOUT ME: Don’t know if I’ve mentioned this but I’m strong and manly, a real man’s man. My elections are the envy of many other nations because of their discreet but powerful rigging.
HOBBIES: Topless horse-riding, topless bear-fighting, topless man-wrestling, showing off my waxed, oiled, gym-toned torso. Also, the ruthless persecution and subjugation of homosexuals and their perverted, unmanly activities.
FAVOURITE DRINK: Vodka
FAVOURITE FOOD: Vodka
IDEAL DATE: A night out in London’s glittering West End, then back to a five-star hotel for a warming pot of Polonium.
WHAT MY FRIENDS SAY ABOUT ME: – This comment – and its author – have been removed and permanently deleted –