If countries did internet dating – Saudi Arabia
Basically Saudi Arabia’s Tinder profile. Yolo.
NAME: Saudi Arabia
LIVES: Middle East
LOOKING FOR: M seeks one or more W for long-lasting, caring but entirely unequal relationship. But definitely M seeks W. Not…M seeks M. Never. M seeks M is an abomination. But only the best will do – for I am extremely wealthy.
YOU WILL BE: Female, approximately three yards behind me. Loving, but in a money-motivated kind of way.
IDEAL DAY OUT: A drive into the desert in my new Bentley Bentayga (RRP £195,000) – me driving obviously, not you – then stopping for a simple picnic lunch of champagne, caviar and boiled Faberge eggs, before heading back to the city, changing into our jim-jams and snuggling up in front of a live beheading.
MY BEST FEATURES: Wealth. Cash. Money. My own falcon.
WHAT MY FRIENDS SAY ABOUT ME: “Has a certain oily attractiveness”